Humans are creatures, a word originating from ‘create’. Indeed, we have a wonderful ability to create new things and even to create our own reality. And while some people are conscious creators of their lives, others live theirs as unwitting victims. Be that as it may, we all create our own reality, whether consciously or not.

How do we create it? Our reality consists of our beliefs, ideas, attitudes, emotions, and the actions we take. Our beliefs mostly stem from our childhood, family, school, and the environment we grew up in, as well as from the people around us, from the media, and our life experience.

If you are unhappy with your reality, pause for a moment, look into the depths of your soul, and ask yourself: What is it that I really want? What can I do to achieve it? Who do I need to become? Which skills and abilities do I need to develop? Which attitudes and beliefs do I need to change?

Everything is about your inner change. Which beliefs have proven useful and which have not? Which encourage you to achieve success and which sabotage you? If you don’t find your set of beliefs useful, it’s time you updated them. Just like you regularly update your computer software, updating your mental software is equally important.

This is something you just have to do yourself. You can’t possibly outsource going to the gym or learning a language. Likewise, you can’t outsource changing your attitude to positive thinking or shifting your focus from problems to solutions. This responsibility lies solely with you, and you simply have to do it yourself.

If you focus intensive attention on your goals and engage your emotions, you activate the law of attraction. You start meeting the right people who can help you achieve your goals. You find yourself in the right place at the right time. You will experience synchronicity. You will become what you think of most. Your outer world is always a reflection of your inner world.

The question is: How do you control your attention focus? What can actually help you is a question you must pose to yourself every day. If you keep failing, ask yourself: How could I do that better? What should I change? Which lesson should I learn? Who should I turn to for help or advice? What can I feel grateful for in such a situation? All these questions will help you shift your focus to constructive solutions and will boost your vibration and your chance of success.

However, some keep asking instead: Why is this happening to me? or Who is to blame? Your mind will be ready to provide plenty of answers, such as: You’re not good enough; You can’t do that; or, Others had better conditions. Such thoughts will lower your self-confidence, your vibration and your happiness.

There is a strong correlation between the feeling of happiness and the feeling of control. Psychologists refer to an internal or external ‘locus of control’ – the extent to which you feel in control of your life. Someone who fully accepts responsibility for their life is aware of the fact that they can control events affecting them, which in turn gives them a feeling of control, power, and happiness.

It is crucial to experience feelings of happiness and joy. A success based on achieving goals without the inner feeling of fulfillment is no success at all. You have no doubt heard of celebrities who were successful according to other people’s standards; they ‘had everything’, yet they weren’t happy. Some of them even ended their lives.

So what is it that affects your feeling of happiness? Again, your attention to focus. When you focus on things, which you don’t have, which you lack, or which go wrong, your feeling of happiness immediately decreases. On the contrary, you can boost your happiness if you shift your attention to something you can feel grateful for every day. It can be something big or something small. This way, you will start attracting more things to your life, which you can be grateful for.

Furthermore, scientists have found that another thing, which contributes to your feeling of happiness, is daily meditation. The good news is that meditation also offers many other benefits: it positively affects both your mental and physical health; it reduces stress and raises your energy; and it can even cause changes in your brain and restructure grey matter. This is when you can become a conscious creator of your own reality.


  • Renata Angelo, speaker, coach, author